Every other American man under 30 is single and unable to find a girlfriend. Most guys report having trouble getting dates, so it’s no wonder they prefer casual or sexual arrangements, like naughty dating. It lets guys and girls fulfill ...
How to Find a Mistress & Avoid Consequences
Having a mistress is something more than just having a one-night stand. The risks are higher, and so is the level of satisfaction if everything goes right.
Non-traditional relationships are on the rise, and the growing number of users on affair dating websites proves it. People are seeking everything they can’t get from their marriages anymore—new emotions, passion, and pure fun without a serious commitment.
If you’re a married man considering having an affair, in this guide, you’ll find pretty much everything on the topic, from tips on how to do everything right to the ways to meet a mistress online or offline.
Discover 3 ways to find a mistress
How to find a mistress? There are at least three ways to do it more or less easily, and we explain the pros and cons of each of them in more detail below.
Online platforms for getting a mistress
Finding an extramarital relationship is much easier if you decide to go online. Nowadays, people can easily join niche sites where users seek affairs. Ashley Madison was the first website that started that revolution, and since 2002, more and more websites with similar concepts have been launched.
Still, though such websites really work, it doesn’t mean they’re perfect. They have benefits and drawbacks, and you should consider both to understand whether this particular option will work for you.
Benefits of finding a mistress online:
- All women on niche websites know that men registered here may have wives or girlfriends.
- You can make things clear right on your dating profile and find someone who’ll be okay with the terms of the relationship you’re seeking right now.
- On good websites, you can use special features aimed at protecting your privacy.
- There are search filters and matchmaking services that can connect you with your perfect match quickly and easily.
Drawbacks of finding a mistress online:
- Most niche sites are subscription-based.
- Your browser history may be the beginning of the end of your marriage if you aren’t careful enough.
- There’s a chance of getting scammed.
So, if you want to get a girlfriend online, you should choose a website carefully and follow the safety rules to benefit from the situation instead of facing negative consequences. We’ve chosen the three best websites in this segment, so take a look.
The chance is one of them will work for you well enough.
1. Ashley Madison
Best for:
All types of extramarital dating
Our Experts Say:
Ashley Madison has always been and is likely to remain the best mistress dating website. It was designed as an affair platform and quickly gained tens of millions of members worldwide. Its huge user base is one of the biggest benefits of choosing and using Ashley.
Also, every woman can get a mistress profile and communicate for free, which attracts more open-minded ladies. Messaging won’t be too expensive for men either, and some great special features like extended free search and priority messages will improve the experience for all.
More Information
AshleyMadison
Gender ratio:
60%
40%
Visits/Month:
800K
2. AdultFriendFinder
Best for:
Casual relationships & cyber sex
Our Experts Say:
AdultFriendFinder is more than just a dating website. It’s a place where you can find a mistress who meets dozens of your criteria with the help of a great search algorithm. It’s where members can share photos and videos, including the hottest ones, and where users can meet similar-minded people on blogs and forums.
There are also live streams of professional models and regular members, an opportunity to send tips, and, of course, a great private messenger.
More Information
AdultFriendFinder
Gender ratio:
42%
58%
Visits/Month:
1M
3. OneNightFriend
Best for:
Beginners looking for open-minded women
Our Experts Say:
Even if you’re new to the online dating world, you will experience no difficulty on OneNightFriend.com. Everyone can set up an account on this website within a few minutes, get their profile promoted for free, and browse profiles of women, each of whom may be your potential mistress.
Also, there’s a bonus from the company that lets you send a few free messages a day, but if you upgrade to premium, you’ll be able to enjoy unlimited messaging and use special features, including extended search and priority support.
More Information
OneNightFriend
Gender ratio:
41%
59%
Social events and networking: Finding potential mistresses in real life
Life circumstances largely determine our social circles. If you’re looking for a new partner, you need to expand them regardless of the type of relationship you are looking for.
Attend events where you can meet single women or women who wouldn’t mind starting an affair, and that can be pretty much everything: parties, advanced training classes, themed events, yoga classes, etc.
Still, approaching a new person, especially if you’re married, isn’t an easy thing to do. If you are going to choose this option, you need a strategy that will help you get things clear in a polite manner and with respect to a woman and avoid awkwardness.
Tips on how to approach potential candidates and navigate these scenarios with discretion:
Just be a nice guy at first. Wait until she shows she’s interested in a conversation.
Try to impress her with two main things—intelligence and confidence.
Start flirting.
Give her hints about polyamorous relationships you are into.
See her reaction and then act accordingly.
All in all, focus on making her fall for you before she finds out you want her to be your mistress.
How to get a mistress in real life? Now you know the answer. Develop a strategy, enjoy your offline experience, whatever it is, and the chance is you'll meet a mistress in the near future.
Social media: Utilizing social media to find potential mistresses
Everyone can find girls on Instagram. Hence, finding a mistress on Instagram and other social media platforms is also possible. Search for matches in your area, and don't hesitate to contact girls you like.
However, there are two things to consider. First of all, you need to have a good new profile and do everything possible to hide it from your wife (remember about Instagram recommendations).
Second of all, men looking for a mistress on social media should be ready to take more time and effort and shower a girl with gifts (that's what you'll need to demonstrate at a very early stage of your conversation).
Starting with something like, "Hey, I need a mistress, so maybe let's go out on Wednesday at 7 pm so my wife won't find out," is a bad idea. You need to be smart, impress a girl with your intelligence, and let her know you might not be single—and that's not easy.
Mutual understanding and consent in a mistress relationship
Having a mistress may be a great experience—not only for a guy but for a woman, too. However, it will be possible only if both partners realize the importance of mutual understanding and respect, as well as the importance of respect for personal boundaries and full transparency.
Some men prefer not to let their mistress know they're married, and of course, that doesn't work in the long term. Moreover, it may result in serious problems when your new partner finds out. So, although discussing such topics isn't always easy, it's crucially important for both the man and the mistress.
Be honest about what you are looking for and listen to your partner carefully. Don't think that one day, she'll change her mind about whatever she says. Be sure that you both set your boundaries and understand the rules of the game. Everything between you must happen by mutual informed consent—that's the only healthy scenario.
Maintaining discretion and privacy
Of course, in this case, safety is the main concern. You need a good strategy to avoid negative consequences that may occur for various reasons. Here's how you can maintain discretion:
- Tell no one about your new relationship, and no one means literally no one.
- Always act natural when talking with your wife.
- Control the frequency of your dates with the mistress.
- Set very clear terms and choose the time you and your mistress can contact each other.
- Keep your browser history clean.
- Don’t try to get rid of guilt by giving your wife lots of presents if that wasn’t common for you before.
- Get a hobby or engage in any other activity that will work as a cover for not being at home.
Also, if you are considering looking for mistress online, choose a safe website, blur your photos, and ensure there's a red safety button that will redirect you to a safe website or at least open a safe page so you don’t get caught.
Conclusion: Honoring the complexities of mistress relationships
Around 25% of married men cheat. They do it for various reasons, but it is a fact. The number of scenarios is endless. Some guys just say, “My wife lets me have a mistress,” and feel okay, but for most other men, things are more complex.
Still, there's the key to success, and it's in transparency and respecting each other's boundaries. If you feel that you are ready to follow the strict rules of such a relationship, and if you meet an open-minded woman who knows how to set her priorities, this might be a good experience for both of you.
FAQ
Who is a mistress in a relationship?
Mistress is a woman who's dating a married man. She knows he has a wife and accepts this fact. As for the relationship itself, it may be different. Some have more serious romantic relationships with their attached boyfriends, and some prefer to enjoy casual sex with one partner. It largely depends on the person.
How do you convince a woman to cheat with you?
As in traditional relationships, you need to offer something that she'd like to get, and this something is different for every woman. Some want to be seduced, some want to date a macho man, and some will like the idea that they're too irresistible for you to be able to refuse to have sex with her. Some prefer romance, and some will appreciate your honesty, even if it's a bit brutal. Listen to her carefully, watch her reaction, and you'll find the way to make her your mistress.
What are some potential risks or consequences of having a mistress?
Of course, the most common potential consequence of having a mistress is that your wife finds out, which will negatively affect your marriage, family, and children. It's crucially important to realize that an affair may result in a divorce, emotional damage, and, in the end, money loss. Evaluate the risks and make an informed and rational choice.
