Sex dating sites are, to put it simply, dating platforms where most users are searching for a casual relationship: one-night stands, FWBs, situationships, and so on. The main problem with these sites is that most of them are not worth ...
6 Best BDSM Dating Sites: For Sub or Dom
There are dating apps for people with a private education, for those who believe in astrology, and for people with STDs. There are niches for everyone in online dating—and such a popular kink as BDSM (did you know that 40% of people have BDSM fantasies?) clearly should be represented quite well in the industry.
Or shouldn’t it?
Well, the problem is that there are only a few of them—if we’re talking about real dating sites for BDSM, not just adult dating apps where you can meet a sub or a dom. And most of them are not really worth it. The situation with these apps is similar to the situation with dating apps in general.
But let’s cut to the chase. Here, you’ll find the best BDSM dating sites—tested and selected by our experts.
| Rank | Site | Free Link | |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FetishPartner |
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| #2 | WannaHookup |
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| #3 | AdultFriendFinder |
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| #4 | OneNightFriend |
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| #5 | TopLocalSingles |
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| #6 | Fling |
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1. FetishPartner
Best For: Those looking for a 100% BDSM-specific dating platform
Key Features: Matchmaking, free search, fast mobile website
Pricing: from $7.49 for 200 coins (+200 bonus ones)
At first sight, this platform looks similar to any other website on this list: browsing is free while messaging is paid, a lot of profiles with NSFW pictures, there are private albums, and a convenient matching system. But the difference is that it’s the only real BDSM app here—with special search filters that allow you to search for doms and subs, with “slaps” instead of “winks”, and with a lot of kinky options in profiles (you can choose your BDSM interests when creating a profile).
So it’s definitely the #1 app you need to try, because it doesn’t just have a large BDSM community, it also allows you to find a match according to your preferences.
Pros
- BDSM-specific search filters, matchmaking
- High reply rate
Cons
- No mobile app
- Not the largest userbase
2. WannaHookup
Best For: Finding a BDSM partner in your city
Key Features: Winks, location-based search
Pricing: From $39.95 for 1,250 credits
WannaHookUp isn’t the largest adult dating app (it has around 310,000 monthly visits), but it’s one of the best ones regarding the quality of profiles. Female profiles on this site are quite detailed, with at least 3-5 photos, and the reply rate is also quite high (50%). New users also get 100 free credits upon registration.
Pros
- Free credits for new members (100 credits = 1 message)
- You can find matches in your city
Cons
- “Winks” are paid
3. AdultFriendFinder
Best For: Those looking for a very large dating app with millions of users
Key Features: Live streams, chatrooms, several subscription options
Pricing: From $25 for 1 month
It’s clear that not all the users on AFF are interested in BDSM. But even if 10% of them are, this makes Adult Friend Finder the #1 platform with the largest number of people interested in this type of sexual practice! That’s not the only advantage of AFF. It has a lot of features (live video streams, Sex Academy, Flirt), the reply rate is around 40-50%, and there are lots of theme-based chatrooms there (some of them are related to BDSM).
Pros
- A lot of search filters
- Many chatrooms where you can find like-minded individuals
Cons
- No app
- The interface is slightly outdated
4. OneNightFriend
Best For: Those who want a free dating app (but it’s still not 100% free)
Key Features: Search filters, Flirtcast
Pricing: From $0.99 per day to $79 for 3 months
OneNightFriend allows users to chat for free; that’s the only dating app on the list that provides such an opportunity. There are limits—such as a 5-message limit for free—but it’s still a very good offer for those who want to try this app for free. Surely, OneNightFriend offers much more for those who are ready to pay: premium users can enjoy Flirtcasts (a mass messaging feature), send photos and videos, and view HD photos of other members.
Pros
- Free messages
- Very affordable welcome offer, only $3 for 3 days
Cons
- No BDSM-specific search filters
- Free users can’t view photos or read personal information of other members
5. TopLocalSingles
Best For: Those looking for a simple dating site with lots of users
Key Features: Live chat, “Match”
Pricing: From $15.99 per 8 messages to $149.99 per 125 messages
TopLocalSingles is a simple, legit, and very popular dating app. With 3,000,000 monthly visits, a convenient token system, and a high response rate (40-50%), it looks like a decent choice for someone interested in meeting real people. But the BDSM-related options are very limited, unfortunately.
Pros
- The website is well-suited for mobile browsing
- A lot of users, 3,000,000 monthly visits
Cons
- There are no extra messaging features
- The profiles aren’t that detailed
6. Fling
Best For: Those who need a top-notch app with lots of features
Key Features: Chat rooms, mobile app, search filters, “Who’s Cute” game
Pricing: From $10/69 per month or from $39.95 to $99.95 for lifetime access
Fling is a very popular adult dating platform with more than 2 million monthly visits and with lots of tools: there are video chat rooms, 14 (!) extended search filters, and even a video chat where you can have a “virtual date”. There’s even an ID verification service here, and a lot of profiles are verified! However, the BDSM-specific features are limited—you can select BDSM in the search filters and find someone interested in it, but more specific options like bondage/spanking are absent.
Pros
- A lot of search filters, video chat, Android/iOS app
- ID verification
Cons
- Only a few BDSM-specific features
- Free users can’t do anything here; they can’t even open a profile
How is BDSM dating different from other types of dating?
- It’s easier to find a match in BDSM dating: you don’t play around trying to understand each other’s demands like in vanilla dating; your profile will say it all for you.
- The dating pool is smaller, though. Hundreds of millions of Americans dream about handcuffs, paddles, whips, and floggers behind closed doors, but when it comes to joining BDSM dating apps, only a few of them decide to take such a step. Sites like AFF or Fling have millions of users, while FetishPartner only has several thousand.
- BDSM dating is not judgmental towards those who prefer to stay anonymous. If you don’t want to say your name on a vanilla dating site, it’s weird. If you don’t want to say your name on a BDSM site, it’s ok, we understand privacy is important.
- It’s ok to discuss everything in advance for those into BDSM dating. In this regard, it’s slightly similar to sugar dating—both sugar daddies/babies and doms/subs want to discuss their limits and boundaries before their first offline date.
Final thoughts
There are only a few full-BDSM dating apps, as you can see. Most of them are just adult dating apps, and even though they are big and legit, they often lack search filters and special features for those interested in BDSM. They’re still good—but if you want a perfect BDSM experience, we highly recommend you begin with FetishPartner, this app is the closest to BDSM apps on this list.
By the way, you are not limited to dating sites—there are lots of other places where you can find a match. Read our guide on how to find girls on Instagram and you’ll be surprised!
FAQ
What are the best BDSM dating sites?
Right now, it’s FetishPartner. It’s a large, trusted, and reputable dating app with a lot of BDSM-specific features and tools; it has thousands of female and male users, it has both experienced enthusiasts and beginners, and it’s also quite affordable.
How do I know if BDSM dating is right for me?
It’s only you who can answer this question. There are both advantages and flaws in BDSM dating—some love expressing their confidence or exploring their submissiveness, while others lose control, have problems with boundaries, or just don’t like it. Maybe trying it with someone you trust could be a good idea to help you understand if it’s your thing or not.
Can BDSM dating sites be for a serious relationship?
It’s not about the sites, actually, because on these sites, you can find a person who would be interested in BDSM, that’s all. The question is whether BDSM can be a foundation for serious relationships—and here, the answer is definitely positive. There are lots of cases when people build trust and strengthen the bonds in their BDSM practices, which leads them to a serious, loving relationship.
What should you expect on the BDSM dating apps?
Basically, the same things you’ve already seen on non-BDSM dating apps—profiles with photos and sometimes with videos, sometimes there are verified profiles, there’s always a live chat, and there might be some extra messaging tools. The only difference is that BDSM dating apps have more BDSM-specific features like search filters and different options for setting up a profile.
